Brothers Are Getting Old

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Photo by Haydn Williams

My brothers are growing up. The youngest is entering college in August and is torn between taking up between Psychology or Civil Engineering or Political Science. I told him it's all up to his decision, I want him to be very sure of his course. I also don't want him to go through the same situation I've been to, which I shifted to a different course in the middle of my college years. I don't want him to cry on his own about that situation God forbid. I don't want him to feel every single day that he regrets things he might have done--I must be overthinking right now. God really forbid these things to happen. I miss the days when they were younger.

The second brother is in his second year in Nursing. I also want him to succeed and be the doctor he always wanted to be, to build his own restaurant, climb the mountains as he wished, drive all the way to the places he wanted to go. I also do not want him to go through the same thing as I did during college. I guess this is what you feel when you are the eldest, you would rather have those bittersweet experiences and try to save your loved ones from feeling those.

I want the very best for my brothers. I want them to fly high and learn failures especially that we must be able to stand on their own foot. That they should learn how to pick up themselves after battling the battles they experience.

I am the eldest of the three, the only girl. Although I hate them most of the time because of their time spent playing Mobile Legends and watch endless anime during this pandemic, for not helping me laundry clothes, I still love them. I also love the days when my second brother borrow my lighter and puffs a smoke, confide things he can't share with Mom. I'm glad he's growing fine at his own pace, I just want him to avoid bad stuff I think he does not need to go through. And while my youngest brother goes to college, I also want to hear the things he rarely shares about.