These months have been quiet and it is you who I often think of. The nights are painful enough to remind me that it is the most time we spent together singing, laughing, sharing, making origami hearts together and being silent together. Coldplay had their concert 30-minutes away from your place and I wonder do you even know they were there?
I no longer walk far; I take the easiest route. My legs hurt after 30 minutes of walking. It is hard not to think of you when most of my routine like walking, slacking, doing the laundry with the scent of Champion colour blue fabcon, and most importantly, law school. The last time I was in law school you were there. I always looked forward for 22:30 each night. When you shared that you wanted to disappear and run somewhere far where everyone do not know you and asked if I am not coming, I was quiet shocked of the invitation. I miss hearing the snores and never having to put down the call while we are asleep.
Watching romance have made me spiteful that it wasn't me who you've spent your free spirited years meanwhile I, having to take the short timed conscious choice of yours and treat each night as a borrowed time, never feeling that freedom your previous relationships did.
In six months, it has been 2 years since I last heard from you. The excruciating pain I felt that night you left me with the last message "I love you" still lingers but at least they do not make my stomach churn. I will continue watching your life in pictures but no longer on a regular basis. I am happy you are happy, that your smile is so bright; and most importantly, you living life like nothing has happened. That you have finally reached the happiness in your Somewhere Over The Rainbow song.
PS I regret not asking you to record your songs to me so I could listen to them everyday.
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